thankful

im so thankful and happy with what i've been given.
also thankful and happy for brent although not pictured.

my mudroom

well, i don't have a mud room, but I really wanted one.  I have really been trying to come up with a more organized "on our way out" zone and i finally came up with something I think I will like.  Thank you Brent for hanging the baskets.  I do not like drills.  I whined until he took over.  Jackson couldn't reach the top basket so we just hung Eva's higher because we'll be getting her stuff out anyway.  You know why this makes me the happiest?  maybe the initials but probably because now i'll have a spray bottle and comb downstairs to tame hair that didn't get tamed upstairs.  It happens A LOT in our house.

hooks for bags

I'm debating on adding a full length mirror here so I'll notice when i forget to put on make-up or realize it might be tacky to wear spit up like that.  We're also starting chores for Jackson.  Stickers for everyday he does them all--7 stickers earns $1.  He also gets a sticker for music practice (that reward comes in class if he practices 5 times) and stickers for reading (10 buys him a new book.)  I don't know if I'm being too indulgent.  I think its more so that I remember to read with him.

 This is for me.  Its worked all summer and i love it.  Its my chore chart (i get to check when i've completed a chore which is oddly rewarding for me).  Basically its just everything I need to know for a week:  grocery list, meals, calling, planner, to do list, visiting teaching, budget, and what's coming later this month.

you can go ahead and tell me i'm amazing!  Nothing beats working like planning on working then blogging about it!

a mess of a monday

i should start out by saying, brent and i really don't get sick very often. We are, however, a little covertly competitive with who feels worse sometimes.

Monday morning Sam woke up crying ridiculously early (like 5:30). I went in, put him back to bed then went back to bed. He started crying again at 6:15 (still very early for us) I ignored it until Jackson came and told me that Sam wouldn't stop crying. I went in to hold him then thought, this will not last so i took him downstairs, gave him milk and cereal then put myself back in bed. He was crying at our door again in 20 minutes or so. I put him in bed and eventually he got still enough that I at least thought he might have fallen asleep. until Jackson came in and wanted to sleep with us. Brent and I are not used to, in fact do not enjoy sleeping with children. Brent gets very impatient and I was so tired of dealing with Sam. We sent the kids to the bonus room. Brent told me he didn't feel good and my response "well, I don't either." (I know very callous.)

Brent got up and went to work and I stayed in bed.

When I got up at 9:00 I went downstairs and the threw up. I didn't think much of this since I am pregnant and it was late for me to get up. I ate breakfast. really thinking I was fine but I was so tired. more so than usual. I was up with the kids but hardly (if you know what that means.) I knew I had to take a shower so I could get to the store because the missionaries were coming over. When I got out, I immediately threw up again. What!? That is not normal. I called Brent to tell him 1) feel sorry for me I'm sick and 2) you really might be sick you might want to come home. I felt better afterwards though and thought, well I still have to go to the store. When I was at foodcity I could feel my insides taking a turn again. I thought I can get through check out. We were quickly walking to the counter when I realized there was somebody in front of me and more importantlly, I was not going to make it. I pulled Sam from the stroller and told Jackson to run with with me. I ran as fast as I could and as soon as I opened the door started going. (luckily it was empty) Jackson was walking around talking about how gross I was. I started crying when i had to tell a worker that I hadn't made it all the way. When I left the store I was going to call brent and tell him what had happened when he called me. I thought "wow, he really loves me. he's in tune. kindred spirits."

He told me he was at work but that he started feeling worse and worse at work and had decided to leave. As he was leaving he go really unstable and stumbled into the break room. He almost passed out and they called the paramedics!! Really!?! He checked out with them but his coworker was taking him to the hospital. I guess I'm cold but I thought that was so silly. He said he didn't want to go but they had insisted. I convinced them to let me take him and let his co-worker go back to work. When I told Jackson daddy was sick he said "He's sick of you being sick." It was like this big issue on the phone with whether or not his work could insist he go to the hospital. It was decided they couldn't (duh) but couldn't require a note from a dr. saying he was ok to return to work (what!). I really didn't want to do that but under the circumstances ok. Taking Brent to the Dr. is not what I wanted to do. (who would even remember I was sick!) I know I'm bad. When we got there we were both practically asleep in the waiting room. They called him back and said they were only taking his vitals and for me to wait where I was then they'd send him right back to me. After a minute or so I heard the nurse say his name a few times, call for help, continue saying his name then say ok nevermind. That woke me up. I wanted to go in there but the door said restricted. (I am a strict rule follower--maybe dumbly so but the door said....) When the nurse called me in she told me he had passed out all the way that time. I now felt so dumb and mean. He had a fever of 103! They hooked him up to an iv.

The Dr. said he thought it was just a bug. Stay home the next day and if you feel fine then, go back to work. We went home to Brent's parents house where we were absurdly pampered. It as so nice to not have to face dealing with the kids and helping each other alone and yet we weren't isolated and could be with people when we wanted to. That's always the biggest dilemma for me. Should I keep the kids or not? I miss them when they're gone but I can't give them much when they're here. It was definitely the best of both worlds. Thanks to all the people that called and helped. We have the best family and friends.

i took a break today.

thanks julie, becca, and britney. awesome!

my birthday

i don't know how many of these i'll get to but i started with gone with the wind.

nursing sam

scene: I'm nursing sam on my bed, in walks jackson and sits at my feet. since sam was born we've had the rule jackson can't touch either of us while i'm feeding him.

me: hey buddy

jack: [funny face he makes while playing with sam (biting his bottom lip) reaches out to play with sams arm]

me: no touching sam while he's eating

sam: [stops eating to laugh at jackson]

jackson: [bouncing on the bed]

me: jackson no bouncing

jackson: can i bounce my shoulders?

me: no bouncing

jackson: can i bounce my feet?

me: no

jackson: can i bounce my head

me: no

jackson: can i bounce my fingers?

me: no

jackson: [begins to ever ever so slightly bounce while sitting down]

me: [trying to ignore the very very slight bouncing so we'll just be happy]

jackson: i'm bouncing mom

me: get off the bed

6 years ago

we got engaged at Hilton Head. It was special. We took a walk Sunday night on the beach, August 1st, and he proposed.

6 years later Brent was without a wedding ring. He lost it sometime this year. If I was Robyn or Cheyenne or Siobhan I could tell a really romantic story touching your emotions making you laugh and cry, but I can't. I'm not a story-teller. I will tell you though I surprised Brent this trip with a new wedding ring that I gave him while walking on the beach Sunday night, August 1st. It was really special to me and made me all kinds of emotional like only I can get. I don't have a picture of the ring cause like I mentioned before, I didn't take any pictures.

too much time

So i'm always fussing about not having enough time to get things done. Today Sam had his vaccines (I know. so sad. we both cried.) but it totally put him to sleep for the afternoon. Yeah! Time to get lots and lots of things done. unfortunately, this is what i looked like all day. I had so much time that I didn't do anything and just wasted it in front of the computer. (that's a picture of me figuring out skype.) i could have been productive, but I wasn't. oh the things i could have done....

She's been mine for 27 years.

I'm reminiscing. and crying. i love my little sister. too many pictures to look at and cry about. i know she's not dying but she used to love me best.

This is us 5 years ago

on our honeymoon.

We didn't have a camera so we took a disposable camera that we never got developed until our five year anniversary. Some how it just kinda never got done. It became one of Jackson's toys.... I don't know. These pictures make me happy. Happy that we're still happy. Happy that despite the fact it was pre-digital camera I didn't have my eyes closed in one single picture. Happy that as a sign of kinda how low-key we are we went to Nashville for our honeymoon. Happy that as another sign of how low-key we are we still own and wear most of those clothes. Happy that even though its been five years (which i realize is nothing) so little has changed. I mean the world has changed a lot around us. But between us, where it matters the most, nothing has changed. Strengthened, totally, but constant.

Oh and for the record, for our five year anniversary, which I hear is the paper anniversary, we totally knocked it out of the park and are under contract to buy a house! I've never been more scared in my life but the excitedness is slowly, slowly creeping in.

I came home to this after dropping off the baby-sitter

Total shock. Totally cool.

more nintendo

so after posting about our mario kart I got to thinking about our date night earlier this month. We downloaded mario brothers 3 to our wii. it was so much fun trying to remember the "secrets" that everybody knew. I thought I was good at this game but the whole night I never beat a level. In fact, we'd laugh because the first time I'd start a new level whatever the first possible thing was to kill me, would kill me. notice that they're all M's. I was obviously luigi.

Maybe its the news, maybe its my friends' successes, I'm not sure but I'm feeling a strong need to learn how to save money the coupon way. I've had bad experiences before, leaving the store feeling dumb with my stack of printable coupons (I had printed like 30) but only bought one bottle of honey. I have recently been re-inspired. I just subscribed to my local paper. This is what my desk looked like during naptime. Notice the open 1/2 gallon ice cream. Chocolate is how I deal with stress. I'm terrified of getting burned again. If people have great advice as to how to get started and conquer fears let me know. Special thanks to Robyn and Jeni for their inspiration. Now wish me luck!

pay it forward

This is how it works..... The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a hand made gift from me during this year. When and what will be a surprise. BUT, in order for you to leave a comment on my blog, you have to post this on your blog first. (That means that sometime during this year you will send a gift to 3 people as well.) Get it? So, the first 3 people to comment on this post will be the lucky ones.

--so I normally don't do the tags but i love making things these days so I thought this would be fun. come on. let me make you something!

I did it!

OK, so I didn't do it. Travis did it. He graduated from BYU in December. Yeah. I finally made him cookies. Yeah. Instead of licking his fingers from cookie dough goodness picture him saying "you're number one!"

Seeking experienced mothers

Seriously, I need your advice. Jackson will be 2 this month and I just don't know what to get a child that age. He is growing and changing so fast I cannot forsee what his new interests will be. After browsing these are things that caught my eye but I have no clue. He's into balls now. He has a couple riding toys but should i get one with pedals? Should I focus on reading kind of toys? Imaginative toys? Am I over-thinking this? yeah of course but since we really don't buy him toys much this one has to count! please comment...please.

Yeah me!

I just threw my clothes in the dryer with a lightbulb! No, its not a new way to decrease static. It's just now a bunch of clothes with tiny pieces of glass presumably throughout the load. Yeah...I'm just that cool. Should I just re-wash the load? I suppose I shouldn't keep the spare lightbulbs in front of the dryer sheets that sit on the cabinet above the dryer. Huh?

What silly thing have you done today?

I love our exit off the interstate. We pass it at least twice a day. It has 2 truck stops, a construction site, a place that sells boats, and amazingly like a cement making place where there are always cement trucks spinning and dump trucks dumping. Now for those of you who haven't been here to Knoxville it isn't in the boonies. It's across the interstate from the biggest shopping area basically in town, Turkey Creek. It's just an effect of the urban sprawl. So Jackson loves to point out everything he sees so it becomes a very happy, exciting point of the trek home. So imagine my delight when slightly farther down the road we get stopped a by a police man, holding a sign, lights flashing on the car to direct traffic for the electrical truck who had two men up in a bucket fixing the wires. Oh I could hardly contain myself with such a find. Jackson on the other hand couldn't be urged to look right and missed the whole thing. oh well. At least I saw it right?
Oh and I would have put up a random picture of a truck but I don't know how to get pictures off the internet. sorry.

Music For a Happy Anniversary

As a tribute to our fourth anniversary, I've decided to overcome my anxiety for writing by posting a blog with the hopes that this contribution will melt the heart of my wonderful wife. Unfortunately, we have to spend the week apart as I am away for work in The-Middle-of-Nowhere, Texas. But although we are apart, she remains constantly in my heart and mind - especially on this anniversary eve as I've prepared this playlist just for her . I also found this was a great excuse to get a playlist up on our blog (so I guess its not just for her). I've pressed her to put up a playlist for some time, but she keeps refuted me. So if you like the playlist, leave a comment in favor of keeping it up, otherwise she will assuredly take it down after the romance of it has worn down a little. Given the excessive sappiness of this post, you can now see why I hold so much anxiety in documenting my thoughts for the critical assessment of generations to come. Don't expect many more posts from me! I LOVE YOU NAT!!

Pity Party

I thought I would host a pity party tonight. For those of you who don't know Brent has to travel for his job. He'll be traveling to Borger, TX (a tiny town 1 hour north of amarillo) for the next 11 weeks or so. He leaves Sunday afternoons and gets home around midnight on Fridays. Woe is me! Last week was the first week he was gone and I tell you it is tough! I love my son and all but conversations are still a little difficult. "ball, yes thats a ball, ball, ball, yes ball" I just get to craving adult conversations so bad. One day the only person I spoke to all day was my insurance person. I also changed the wallpaper on my phone to this picture so when I'm lonely I just look at it...and miss him.

I tell you it hurts to love husbands so much because then you miss them so much. This picture was at the UT game we went to last month.
Do you have a reason for me to pity you? You can share and we'll all pity each other.

Woe is us.